


The day my lover forgot he was an alien

by sarahofcroydon



Category: Doctor Who, Gyakuten Saiban | Ace Attorney
Genre: Alternate Universe, Crossover, Humour, M/M, Time Lord
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-03-22
Updated: 2013-03-22
Packaged: 2017-12-06 02:57:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/730758
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahofcroydon/pseuds/sarahofcroydon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by a kink meme prompt: Miles Edgeworth is a time lord.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

They'd spent the morning cleaning out Miles' attic.  
If he was going to stay in L.A. (and Phoenix was going to make sure of that) then he wanted a fresh start, and clearing out some of his excess belongings was the first thing to do.  
Phoenix rather enjoyed the process... the Sunday sunlight streaming through the small attic window lit up the particles of dust, spinning and dancing as Miles disturbed yet another box of miscellany. Miles himself looked rather dishy, with his shirt sleeves rolled up and his fringe sticking to his forehead with the sweat of their mild exertions, and Phoenix decided that it was time to stop work for a little bit, and have a shot at play.

It was his idle attempts at distraction that changed his life irrevocably.

"Oh, I like this," He said offhandedly, selecting from the pile an apron with the dreaded words 'kiss the cook' printed across them. No wonder it had ended up in the attic. Tying it around his waist, he hobbled best he could in the cramped space to Miles's side, proffering his cheek.

"Let'z cook up a leetle sumezhing you'll neverrr forget, hein?" He purred, frowning as Miles snorted and pushed his cheek away; clearly he needed to brush up on his French accent.

"Try this instead," Miles said suddenly, deftly winding a bright blue scarf around his neck. It wasn't Miles' colour... what kinds of awful gifts had he been getting all these years?  
"You did say you nearly went into acting. This is the uniform if you ever decide to go into musical theatre."

Phoenix laughed. "Between us, I rather think you're the fop. Allow me a more dignified imaginary profession... maybe..."  
Rummaging through the unpacked boxes for a more suitable prop, Phoenix was delighted when he laid his hands on a stethoscope.

"Why on earth do you have this?" He asked, weighing the silver instrument in his palms.  
Miles shrugged. "Doesn't every family have one?"  
"Only yours, I think," Phoenix said, rubbing the sensor over his palm before grinning wickedly and lifting a leg to seat himself in Miles' lap. Miles leant back on his hands, raising an eyebrow but clearly open to the attention.

"Open wide, Mister Edgeworth," Phoenix said, lowering his voice to a manly baritone. "Say 'aah'."  
"You don't check tonsils with a stethoscope, Nick," Miles scoffed, lips quirking in a grin as one hand went to rub Phoenix's thigh.

Phoenix nodded, frowning in professional agreement. "You're right. I've got to inspect your body first-"  
Carefully undoing the buttons of Miles' shirt, he punctuated his speech with kisses to Miles' jaw as the other man smiled and curled fingers in his hair.  
"Thoroughly."

Sliding the chestpiece of the stethoscope to the left of Miles' bare breast, Phoenix hooked the device to his ears, almost instantly able to hear the mild thumping of his lover's heart against the backdrop of his breathing. It was a lovely moment... Miles closed his eyes, and Phoenix gazed at him, strands of his fair hair lit up by paths of light streaming through the attic window. Teasingly, he dragged it over a nipple, delighting in the skipping of a few heartbeats, trailing it down Miles' body in a new method of exploration.

"Anything going on down here?" He murmured, rubbing it over Miles' belly and abdomen, hearing the faint gurgle of Sunday breakfast making itself known to Miles' stomach. He dragged the pad over his pectoral muscles, enjoying at the way the metal pad tickled the hairs of Miles' body on its way. Miles shivered, and Phoenix wasn't yet vain enough to presume that he aroused rather than simply cold, and drew his medical investigation to a reluctant close, drawing the device back up to Miles' breast and sighing happily once he heard the return of his lover's heartbeat, strong, constant and steady.

Only... the chestpiece was now resting on the right.

"It's probably a good thing I'm not a doctor," Phoenix mused, idly tracing the pad over Miles' chest for better sound.

"Why's that, then," Miles asked lazily, shifting a leg to make it perfectly clear that other parts of him were also interested in abandoning the cleaning for more entertaining pursuits.

"Because... I could swear that it sounds like you've got two hearts. It's like this thing's got an echo or something..."

He was expecting a tease, or gentle mocking, or even for Miles to simply rip the device from him and kiss him stupid like he usually did when he felt Phoenix was talking too much... what he didn't expect was for Miles to frown mildly, for his eyes to grow very wide and then very narrow, for his frown to deepen and for his body to jerk suddenly, before unleashing a string of expletives directed at himself.

"Oh, you stupid fool, Miles Edgeworth! Bollocks balls bollocks fuck fuckity-fuck _bollocks_!!"


	2. Chapter 2

"Miles, talk to me! Are you ill? What's wrong?"

"No, of course not, Wright... oh god, how could I have been so stupid..."

It had been like this for at least fifteen minutes; Miles stalking the house as though trying to walk off his agitation, muttering to himself and running his hands through his hair. Phoenix had to take both of his hands and press him up against the wall to force eye-contact, and even then Miles looked unexpectedly fierce.

"Tell me what the matter is... you're worrying me. Are you sick? Are you ill?"

"Of course I'm not, don't be ridiculous."

"Then what? Is it worse? Are you in trouble?! One second, everything's dandy, and then..."

"No, look, Phoenix, everything's fine. Actually.. no, you're right, I'm ill. It's a temporary chest condition but I'm having it looked at and I'll be fine."

Even Pess could have told a gaffe like that from a mile off.

"Miles." A hurt expression flickered across his Phoenix's face. "I thought we didn't have secrets like these anymore."

"We don't," The anguish Phoenix felt was suddenly reflected in his lover's face. "I... can't. This... don't ask this of me."

Phoenix put his hand to Miles' cheek.  
"Miles... we've shared a lot. You know everything about me. You've seen me at my worst. There's nothing you could say to me that would make me think anything less of you. Please... tell me what's upsetting you so much. I want to know. Please?"

Miles Edgeworth had once thought himself a man of steel... against the honest gaze of one defense attorney he found himself growing increasingly weak. The resolve he'd built up over years to keep his one, most essential of secrets crumbled against his will, but he held his tongue. He couldn't speak. He mustn't.

"Don't... it doesn't concern you," Miles said in a shaky voice, cringing a little as hurt blossomed in full over his lover's face. He took Phoenix's cheeks in his hands as Phoenix had done to him, and gazed at him earnestly.

"Don't be hurt. Please, don't be upset. There's nothing wrong, and it's not important. Just don't ask this of me. Alright?"

Phoenix frowned. "If it's not that bad, why can't you tell me?"

Miles sighed in exasperation, almost chuckling at his predicament. "I've asked too much of you already. And it's just not worth it. I don't want to waste our time on something so trivial. I care for you."

Phoenix wasn't one to recognise a losing battle if it trod on his toes, and when it came to arguments with Miles, the odds of winning were never clear to begin with.

"I care for you, too" He said, his anxiety lessened a little at his lover's smile. "But by god, I'm going to find out your strange stethoscope secret if it kills me. Anyone would think you had two hearts, or something."

Miles grimaced. "Shut up and put on the kettle."


	3. Chapter 3

Miles was grinding his teeth.

Phoenix had been at it for days, now. The first time he'd realised the man was conducting a serious investigation had been over Chinese take-away.

"So," Phoenix said airily, digging through his noodle box in search of prawns, "I've narrowed it down to a few possibilities."

"What have you narrowed down?" Miles held out his own box so that Phoenix could deposit what he found and take the bean sprouts Miles had pushed to one corner in exchange.  
"Have you got a case?"

"No," Came his too-innocent response, "I'm investigating why you freaked out so much when I went down on you with the stethoscope."

Miles' expression turned dark and intense. "I thought I told you to drop it."

"Never," Phoenix said cheerily, reaching forward for a sip of the green tea Miles always provided with Chinese take-away. "You said that it wasn't that bad, and considering that I've just about moved in to your house, I figure I have the right to know about all your quirks and foibles when I become a permanent fixure."

Miles buried his head in his hands. "I should have known you wouldn't let this go."

"It doesn't seem very bad, but it's putting you through some kind of pain to keep it a secret. Whatever it is, you won't put me off, Miles!"

"Fine. Fine! You're right... I can't keep it a secret any longer. I hate to tell you this, but all along I've been a Scientologist. I go to the meetings and I believe in Zurg. It's just something you'll have to cope with."

Phoenix snorted. "He's called Xenu, Miles."

 

Phoenix always tried to ask when he was off his guard. Shaving, relaxing with tea in the evenings... no matter how hard he tried, Miles had an irreverant answer at the ready. His questions slowly decreased in frequency, yet Miles knew better than to assume he'd dropped it. After a week or two of silence regarding the matter, the dread that churned his stomach whenever Phoenix questioned him returned in full force when the man walked in the door one Saturday morning clutching a manilla folder.

"So, I was down at the Attorney General's office..."


	4. Chapter 4

Miles was incensed.

"You went through my records? My personal records?!"

He was almost too appalled to be enraged at the sight of his own medical certificate on the table in front of him. Phoenix withered under his furious gaze, but held his ground.

"Perfectly legal and perfectly justified research. And I was right, there was something odd..."

Miles stood up, his teacup clattering in its saucer at the sudden movement.

"This isn't a joke, Nick," He hissed, "I told you to drop it. I'm really angry now..."

Phoenix raised his voice. "Why couldn't I find your birth certificate?"

Silence filled the little kitchenette as Miles' eyes widened in shock. When he spoke, it was very slowly and very deliberately, utterly furious.

"Why, on god's Earth, were you looking for my birth certificate?"

Phoenix's response was cautious, earnestly honest. "The way you've been talking this week... it's been worrying me. The way you reacted when I mentioned your pulse... face it, it wasn't normal, Miles. You've been going on about 'not wanting to waste our time', spending it on more important things... it's making me think there is something wrong. I was wondering if you had a genetic condition, maybe, something that was secretly worrying you but not neccessarily active... and you're not registered. Anywhere. I thought it was mighty strange, that a public prosecutor wasn't listed on any of the..."

Miles thumped the table with his hand and Phoenix was jolted from his monologue.

"You're not going to let this go, are you."

Phoenix's answer was quiet. "No. I'm worried about you."

"Nothing I will say will cause you to cease."

"No."

"Even if it might destroy us."

Phoenix's eyes widened... this was a far cry from the trivial problem Miles had described before. Yet he'd known in his gut that he was right to be worried, and he nodded confidently.  
"It won't."

Miles looked to the table, concern and anxiety quickly overtaking the anger in his posture.

"You won't believe me. You'll think I'm a lunatic."

"Already do, Miles," Came the cheerful response, and Phoenix made to move to put an arm to Miles' shoulder before he was stopped with an outstretched hand and a harsh, almost otherworldy stare.

"It's not a joke, Phoenix. The consequences of this are significant, and rest on your head. I'm giving you the chance to forget this ever happened."

"I can't," Phoenix said softly, "You know I can't."

Miles turned his face to the ceiling and closed his eyes, sighing. He stayed that way for a long moment, taking slow breaths, before finally speaking.  
"So be it. On your own head be it."

Pulling out a chair, he gestured for Phoenix to take a seat before sitting down himself.

"Last chance. Life as you know it will change forever."

"My ex-girlfriend came back from the dead to kill my the mother of my best friend, who practises as a spirit medium and often channels her sister to help me win trials. I'll believe anything. Nothing can beat that."

"Oh yes it can," Miles said darkly, before taking a deep breath, passing a hand over his face and forcing himself to look Phoenix in the eye.

"You must forgive me for this, but I'm sure you'll understand why. I care for you. In some funny way, I love you. Dearly. It's why I could never tell you. Aside from the fact you'll think me insane."

Phoenix was holding his breath. "Go on."

Miles gazed at him for another of those long, tense moments, before finally allowing himself to speak.

"Phoenix. My name is not Miles Edgeworth, and I wasn't born on this earth."


	5. Chapter 5

Phoenix blinked.

 

"You... were born in space?"

"Don't be stupid. I was born on the planet Gallifrey, in the constellation of Kasterborous. It's... not that far from here, spatially considering."

Silence. Miles fidgeted. Apparently more of the tale was in order.

 

"I came here with my father and some others, when I was very young. Chronometrically speaking. We age differently, my people. I was already twenty by the time I met you, in school. My people live for very long periods of time. That's because we travel in it. Time, I mean."

Phoenix frowned deeply, glancing at his hands. When he spoke, he adopted the quiet, concerned tone of a parent explaining the myth of Santa Claus to a child. Miles held his tongue... he'd known this was coming and reconciled himself to being very patient.

"Miles... that's... you're talking about a television show. I've seen it before. Doctor Who. He travels in time and space and lives on that planet... Godfreys. Are you sure you're not just..."

Miles snorted.  
"That imbecile? 'Doctor Who'? I know him, Wright, he's deranged. His real name is Brian. He went native... fell in love with the Earth, wanting to leave his mark on it and convinced some television executives in the sixties to make a serial about himself. He hardly tried to disguise his origins, the whole thing was completely against our code of conduct... it's partially why I'm here, actually. We were sent to investigate this whole kerfuffle. Thankfully the television show is so ridiculous we hardly needed to worry. Werewolves and giant maggots? Don't make me laugh. The Daleks, though, they're strangely accurate considering they were designed by an Earth-man. You can forget those toilet plunger arms though, my father couldn't help but laugh every time he saw one."

Phoenix looked as though he'd been socked in the stomach, his eyes as round as saucers and mouth hanging open. Strangely, this encouraged Miles... somehow talking about this was relief and release. He could talk to Phoenix about his father, the man he knew... not the memory of a human lawyer shot in a common elevator. His father had been far more magnificent.

Phoenix clutched at his head.

"So... wait, wait. You're an alien. You came here to arrest another alien, Doctor Who.."

"Brian," Miles interrupted.

"Ok, Brian. Because he'd... what? Why was he here in the first place?"

Miles picked up his cup of tea... it always felt nice to have the familiar weight of china in his hands.

"My race... you might call us a race of anthropologists. We study the cultures of the universe. The thing is, though, because time is such a convoluted thing, we have a strict policy of no interference. 'No touching', that sort of thing. Only observation."

"So then... what, wait. You're not doing that 'no touching' thing very well, you're the top prosecutor in the district! Hang on, no touching... oh my god, Miles, were you probing me!?"

Miles raised one elegant eyebrow. "I thought we were making love."

Phoenix looked appalled... Miles noticed that he was tense and wary, that he'd increased the distance between them despite looking very much as though he didn't believe Miles at all. Miles sighed heavily.

"Look. The only information I gained from the experience was how to make you do that breathy thing that I find rather sexy. I never thought you found it anything less than wonderful, which was certainly my experience, though if you felt it was like being probed then I'm open to your thoughts on improvement."

Miles glanced down, a little sadly.

"I'm human in all regards, really, Phoenix. I've spent so long here I can hardly remember anything else."

Phoenix exhaled, bright blue eyes looking large in confusion.

"Why didn't you... don't you have a spaceship? Oh god, I can't even believe I'm saying spaceship... why didn't you leave once you'd dealt with Doctor- Brian?"

"I can't leave."  
The conversation was beginning to upset Miles... it had been easy enough to form a semblance of a normal life on Earth, a rather enjoyable one to a certain extent, but the question provoked memories he'd kept hidden, darker things he didn't want to revisit. The old wounds still hurt. When he spoke, it was quietly, and Phoenix had to lean in close to hear him.

"There were four of us, four who travelled to Earth. Myself, my father, another man and his daughter. Your Doctor Who is a foolish yet harmless man, so it was thought that only two men were needed to bring him back home. Us children were there for the educational experience." Miles chuckled weakly. "Boy, was it an education.

"Unfortunately my father and his colleague were outwitted. Outsmarted. Brian sabotaged my father's spacecraft, and stole the other man's to escape. Incidentally, the name of the craft is actually TARDIS, like on television, though the acronym is Travel and Reconaissance Device, Individual Size."

Phoenix sighed, and scratched his head, glancing up at Miles.

"You sound crazy. Absolutely mad. Common sense is telling me to get you to see a doctor, but my heart... oh man, I don't know. Keep talking. I'm sorry, it's just... please."

Miles held up a hand. "It's alright, I can imagine. I told you it'd sound mad. I can show you something, though, if it'll help. Then you'll believe me or you'll call the ambulance for yourself, it's up to you."

Phoenix offered a small smile, a sweet normalcy in a crazy situation. "You're going to show me your probe?"

Miles snorted, reaching into his pocket and drawing out a sleek, black case.

"I don't keep my probe in my pants, Nick. No. This... this is half of the key to my father's TARDIS."

Miles gingerly opened up the case, to reveal a perfect, metallic half-moon. He didn't remove it, but gently presented to Phoenix in it's soft case, and spoke in a voice that was distant and faint.

"We were trapped on Earth. It was dangerous. Just as a boat of men lost at sea starve for food, my people starve for freedom in time, for newness, for thought. Without a craft to travel in, we thought we might shrivel up and die."

Phoenix gazed at the half-key, unable to see his reflection in it despite the metallic shine. He was almost convinced he could hear it sing, a shrill, high pitched chime.

"You're still here though," He said gently, lifting his gaze to Miles' face before feeling his attention being dragged back down to the key.  
"You're still alive."

"I know," Miles said, a half-smile on his lips as his gaze, too, was captivated by the metal crescent he held in his hands.  
"My father loved it here. As I do. All your ideosyncrasies, the heterogeneity of cultures, the music, the architecture, the Steel Samurai... it's enough to keep my thirst quenched, at least. And I'm sure my father could have lived here happily for as many years as I have."

The smile gracing his lips faded, and Phoenix found himself leaning forward, hooked on Miles' every word.

"He was a rare sort of man. He spent more days exploring this world than attempting to repair his TARDIS. I wasn't the only one who suspected he had little intention of returning, at least for a while. But not all of my race are so patient or so captivated by one single thing."

He touched a careful fingertip to the surface of the thin metal half-key, and Phoenix knew he wasn't imagining the eerie metal chime that rang through the air.

"The other half of our party was not so happy to stay. Haven't you ever wondered why Franziska is such an unusually frustrated woman?"


End file.
